So it seemed almost fitting that we'd stumble upon the "How to Survive Shopping with Your Wife" by Steve Wilson in the March/April 2007 Ala Moana Shopping Magazine. (I'm one of those that actually takes this magazine and looks at all the pictures of things that I could never buy, and other whatnot in there.) And MSO totally agreed with the pre-shopping prep with the bottled water and energy bars. =S
Husbands, here are your survival tips:
PRE-SHOPPING PREP
* Make like you'll be running a marathon and pack bottled water, energy bars and trail mix. Have you stretched your quads?
* Wear comfy clothes, but don't slob it up too much. Dressing down may inspire her to give you a sneak-attack makeover.
* Arm yourself with distractions: cell phone with games, a book or even office paperwork.
* Before the trip, tell her about at least three items you "desperately need" that she'll have no interest in helping you find. This way, you'll have an airtight excuse to slip away when it's time for her to visit the hosiery section.
SHOPPING SURVIVAL
* Stay on the lookout for any chair, bench or fountain that looks like it could hold your tush when you just can't stand up any longer. Be on constant watch for stores that sell DVDs and gadgets. She'll understand if you'd prefer to cut out for a few minutes rather than join in the quest for "the perfect black top."
* Learn the lingo. "Yes, that's cute," and "No, it doesn't make you look fat," just don't cut it anymore. Watch a couple of makeover shows to bone up on fashion terms. For example, "You have vivid coloring, so you should stick to navy, deep brown, blue, purple and charcoal gray."
* Live it up at the Makai Market Food Court; you've earned that extra helping of ice cream.
SNEAKY METHODS
* Calls to her friends for moral support before making a purchase can drag out the day indefinitely. To save yourself hours of thumb twiddling, hide her phone, or at least drain the batteries.
* "Forget" to empty the trunk (Lawn equipment? Dog crate?) so there's less room for shopping bags. But always remember to carry her bags for her - after all, it's the gentlemanly thing to do.
5 comments:
Funny! Bottled water is a must and Starbucks has water dispensers for refills.
Don't forget to get an iced grande caramel macchiatto while at Starbucks.
Snacks? Plenty of places for that. The bakery in Shirokiya, La Palme Dor Patisserie, the cookie place downstairs, or the goodies at Starbucks.
A cell phone with Gmail mobile and Opera Mini comes in handy.
Visit the Apple Store for the gadgets.
Plenty of kicks stores at Ala Moana though got more at Pearlridge.
Kinda stayed away from the Food Court after hearing about the rat infestation from years ago. Employees kicking back rats? Yuck!
Carry the bags? Now got the baby stroller handles to stick bags on.
Lastly, that visit to the hosiery section brings up an interesting subject in itself. Do you bring MSO there or you tell him to buzz off? Kinda weird standing there surrounded by females with frilly things (sometimes really frilly things). It's kinda funny but also uncomfortable to see what women are buying what. Sista, put down that thong - you had one too much serving of mac salad.
Do you honestly want him there when you're shopping? Bring your sister instead, everyone will have a better time.
Gee Why: I didn't tell MSO to buzz off when we went to J.Boudoir one day so he was presented with a couple of ladies lookin' for some thongs. He left pretty quickly after that. Sorry!
Phoebe, I don't honestly need to have him there when I'm shopping but a lot of times when he is there, it's because we're shopping for him...and maybe I get a little too carried away browsing.
And forget about my sister. She's not a real shopper kind of person. She's the type of person who would rather just give you the money and tell you "Have fun!" so you can get what you want. Think the dog would bring more excitement to the shopping outing. =(
My mommy would gladly join you in your shopping quests in his stead :)
hold up...mad skills in basketball? anyway...I agree with Phoebe. I tell MSO that we will be much happier if I don't go with her. Even if it is for me. I'd rather go by myself, and not listen to her 2 cents about my choice. Plus, if we go together, I'm always breathing down her shoulder about how long she's taking. Then, when she asks me which one I like, I say blue, she picks red. Usually about 90% of the time. Just a couple of the many reasons why I try to get out of it.
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