Super Mom Lessons

In a previous post I had mentioned an article titled "Stop Trying to Be Super Mommy" which was in the January 2007 issue of Parents. I finally read it and I suppose I should be thankful for the forewarning by the mother of two who suffered and recovered from a near-fatal cardiac arrest. Just as she did, I feel like as a mom I do have to do mostly everything and my family comes first.

She writes about her experience and the lifestyle leading to it, and provides five lessons learned that she says applies to every mom cause

No matter how expert you are at the motherhood juggling act, it's impossible to follow through on every responsibility when you're sick or convalescing. We have to let things fall apart just enough so that we can put ourselves back together. And when we let that happen, we discover something truly amazing: Everything is just fine. We learn that we're not indispensable, and while this may bruise our ego, it's a great boon to our health.

For me it's not so much a bruising of the ego but more a situation of getting things done 'cause if I don't do them they probably won't get done even if I ask. =S

Here are the five lessons:

LESSON #1: Adjust Your Standards - Asking for help from your spouse or your friends can be effective, but lowering your standards can be more beneficial.

I'm truly guilty of not allowing TV (only sports occasionally) or the dishes to pile up in the sink. What can I say? There are supposed to be other activities besides TV, and the dishes are needed tomorrow and there won't be time to wash them in the morning.

MSO won't wash the one cup in the sink 'cause he feels like he should wait till there are four so that he can wash them all one time. I feel like it's faster to wash the one and have four clean cups available rather than to wait and wash the four in a rush 'cause there are no clean cups available.


LESSON #2: Figure Out What Really Matters, and Forget the Rest - Does worrying about what your kids are wearing to school, what they have in their lunch box, and what foods are in the cupboards really that important? Are Post-it instruction notes really necessary for your spouse?

It was almost as if I was reading about myself. I try to put the clothes for the next day on the dresser, and pack the bags. This is to help save MSO time in the morning 'cause he probably never leaves at the same time each day (read: he's always late!).

I also put Post-it notes for MSO when I don't have time to do something or to remind him about something.


LESSON #3: Make a New To-Do List - Review your to-do list and decipher what is optional vs. obligatory.

For me there's always a list of things to do. In my mind much of it is required and all I can do is whittle away at it. Naps? Hah! Sometimes. Tired and cranky? Most of the time.


LESSON #4: Don't Freak About Fast Food - Your kids won't be condemned to a life of sloth and girth if they eat from fast-food restaurants.

Never heard that saying about moms keeping the fast-food industry afloat. I thought that MSO was doing that during his lunch time. I'm no Rachael Ray or Martha Stewart, but I'm really trying to discover quick, healthy meals to prepare during our hectic week. As much as I can I won't turn to the Colonel, the pizza guy, and Ronald. Just this past weekend I was the mean mommy who turned down a St. Patrick's Day cookie that was offered.


LESSON #5: Feel the Joy of Being a Mom - When the difference between options and obligations are understood, the tasks that you take on that really do matter can bring great joy.

As much as I worry about so many things as a mother, I do feel that joy when I see the changes as well as the cute and quirky actions. Makes you wanna do it all over again...Hah!